leadership, personal

Get feedback, and talk to each other

Thank goodness for people giving me feedback. I am surrounded by team members who are not shy about telling me when they see me making strides in my leadership plan and doing good things, and also not shy about letting me know when I don’t do so well.

Recently one of my team members let me know that I’ve got to address an issue between me and someone else in our group. I am not reacting right to address their growth opportunities, and need to just sit down and talk to that person and start a positive path to a better relationship, their growth, my growth, and our team’s results.

I recently took out some frustration on my wife, yelling about something stupid for no reason associated with that stupid thing. Rather, I was just feeling “lost” bout my mom’s situation and instead of asking for help or explaining how I felt, I lashed out. Keeping things in for the short term never works, it comes out eventually and usually not how you want it.

I expressed frustration in email, about the speed of a process and my perception of my team members’ lack of ownership of the process. And I violated a key rule of feedback by not “praising publicly and giving critical feedback privately.”

So I spent this week and will spend the coming weeks “talking it out,” using the great people around me at work and at home in a more productive and collaborative way. We are so much better that way, but sometimes we forget – for me I have to stop when it happens so I don’t “spiral” into solitude and silence. Me alone is not my best, I am my best self when I am working WITH others and focusing on lifting them up. My leadership coach gave me a great tip about how to think about using phone calls to trusted advisors in these situations, as well as a tip on how to leverage my team instead of getting into the weeds – so I can be a “leader” not a “manager.”

The root of this goes back to the beginning of the post – feedback. We are not going to be our best selves every day, or every week, and sometimes we have seasons where we just aren’t our best. Get input from others so you can course-correct early and often and get back on the path you want for yourself.



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